How To Make Yourself Fart

[Neehosoft]

How To Make Your Self Fart
Written By NeehoSoft
Updated today to remove "google it" and add more detail. Sorry i was in a hurry before
Disclaimer: This technique does not work with everyone and takes a lot of practice. I am not responsible for what happens from this guide/

Info
This skill takes alot of work to master. What we are going to be doing, is relaxing your butt mussels, and allowing air to come in and do some scientific thing i dont know about so basicly air rushes into your butthole and you can use it to fart.

FAQ:
Q:Once mastered, can you do this anywhere?
A: Yes

Q:Am i going to have to arch my butt up in the middle of class?
A:No, once your good you can do it sitting down.

Q:Can i light these farts on fire?
A:No, the gas normally in farts is methane, this is simply inhaling air into the butt hole and pushing it out making it sound like a fart. Sometimes it can mix with methane and smell though.

Getting Started Farting on command.
Steps:
1)Arch your butt up, lay on your stomach and on your knees.. Relax your butt. One way of doing this is tensing up for 10 seconds, and then releasing.
2)Flex for a while.
3)Eventually, you feel air rushing through your butthole.
4)Use the air to fart
Eventually you can fart anywhere at anytime.
Air is good enough for multiple farts.
There are 2 reasons for doing this:
1)It's really funny - But I got kicked out of class today for farting on my friend :(
2)It can release pressure in your stomach by releasing whatever is in there, don't overuse or its bad.

Practice
Every night you go to bed, 20mins -1hr of practicing farting. Eventualy, once you get very good at it, you can do it while sitting down in a chair or something and it wont take too long.

Foods that Help Produce Methane (if you want smelly farts)
*Beans
*Bread

Tell me if you get anywhere
-NeehoSoft

[Sean[714]]

LOL.... and you do this when you're alone?!

[YoHoJo]

Hey! I do this to. Lay on your stomach, and then get your legs on their knees, and point your butt in the air. Make sure its pointed nice and high, and then just flex it around a bit, and air will go into your butt. Keep doing this for a while, and then eventually once your butt has inhaled enough air it will fart! :D

[ZaSz]

Hey! I do this to. Lay on your stomach, and then get your legs on their knees, and point your butt in the air. Make sure its pointed nice and high, and then just flex it around a bit, and air will go into your butt. Keep doing this for a while, and then eventually once your butt has inhaled enough air it will fart! :D

Don't forget to have your lighter ready.

[Brain]

mussels
should be muscles

There are many methods of this, google it.
We are here to learn from the tut, if tut just says "google it" I don't think it is a very god tut. Why not list a few of these methods for us please?

Don't forget to have your lighter ready.
The gas exiting the anus will not be combustible, since the technique involves drawing air into the anus with the sphincters relaxed, then closing the sphincters and expelling the air, to produce the fart sound. This isn't the natural gas composition (methane), so the gas being expelled is inert.

edit:
Also, one of my friends does this some times, I guess his uncle is the best and (supposedly) ripped a pair of underwear doing it, lol. My bud did it when we were camping once, we were all in the same tent, and he starting laying funny, and said the beans were getting to him...and he started farting for like 10 mins straight....we thought we were going to die in the tent. Then he told us the trick and it was a merry old time.

I've done this a little bit on accident before, I've been able to draw in the air (yes it feels very cold), but I couldn't do much with it afterwards....and then once it closes on me, it's closed for good XD

[Rich]

Erm...Nice tut? But anyway, like Brain said, this is a tutorial, so we'd expect to learn the methods from here...Not Google.

[Zyt3x]

Lmao this is so funny :D
I imagine YoHoJo doing that :S Looks reeeeaally weird

[marpis]

Hmm interesting.

[Neehosoft]

Hey! I do this to. Lay on your stomach, and then get your legs on their knees, and point your butt in the air. Make sure its pointed nice and high, and then just flex it around a bit, and air will go into your butt. Keep doing this for a while, and then eventually once your butt has inhaled enough air it will fart! :D

Lmao. I love you no homo.


Don't forget to have your lighter ready.

You cant make a good fart fire with this, it's air not gas.

Lmao..and you do this when your alone?
No lol i do it in class once you mastered this you can do it anywhere and fast.

[Bionicle]

.......
i do this sometimes by accident, but never on purpose...
weirdos :p lol

[Neehosoft]

.......
i do this sometimes by accident, but never on purpose...
weirdos :p lol

haha, i am honered to have you post on my thread. :wowzers:
Your tuts taught me a lot.
PM me if you need any help farting...:P

[josh81193]

so why would you want to do this?

[Neehosoft]

so why would you want to do this?

1)It's funny
2)It can be used to re-leave pain

[tico2]

I got kicked out of class today for farting on my friend :(

Hahahaha pwned! :thumbsup:

Nice TUT btw, I'll try it just for fun and to see if I can do it. You mention that you need to practise this a lot to master it(practise farting sounds so funny! :D) so my question is, are you a master of this?

[Bionicle]

haha, i am honered to have you post on my thread. :wowzers:
Your tuts taught me a lot.
PM me if you need any help farting...:P

lol thanks :)
im not sure i'll need help farting any time soon, if i really need to i'll just grab a can of baked beans xD

[Neehosoft]

Hahahaha pwned! :thumbsup:

Nice TUT btw, I'll try it just for fun and to see if I can do it. You mention that you need to practise this a lot to master it(practise farting sounds so funny! :D) so my question is, are you a master of this?

Yeah lol, for like 6months, i practiced an hour a month. I know can do it anywehere and really fast. :)
Ask if you need help.
Edit: Thanks for the Rep, im almost 2 squares :)

[Main]

BTW, methane isn't the thing that smell. The bacteria in your small intestine produce hydrogen fluoride, and that is the thing that smells.

Doing lower abdominal exercises can also help in the process of flatulence.

[Harry]

Oh your god, don't pull open your anus to get air in there, it reminds me of Goatse >:|

Also, if you truly want to gross out people with farts, you will lose popularity, quickly :p

[Neehosoft]

Oh your god, don't pull open your anus to get air in there, it reminds me of Goatse >:|

Also, if you truly want to gross out people with farts, you will lose popularity, quickly :p

That's not the goal.

[XRaye]

Omg this is so gross... But awesome =D

[Neehosoft]

Omg this is so gross... But awesome =D

ahaha :)

[Blumblebee]

you are a beauty.

[Neehosoft]

you are a beauty.

who?

[Laur€ns]

who?
me


Oh your god, don't pull open your anus to get air in there, it reminds me of Goatse >:|

Also, if you truly want to gross out people with farts, you will lose popularity, quickly :p
he doesn't have any popularity :rolleyes:

[mikuz]

The best tutorial. ever.

[Quickmarch]

Retarded.

[Cstrike]

Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

God fucking damnit :mad:

[YoHoJo]

That right there is one of the best posts I've ever seen. +rep

[Brain]

cstrike, don't worry, it happens to the best of us some time

[lordsaturn]

The best tutorial. ever.
+1

Freakin awesome

[kingarabian]

Whoa lol. Nice... Just eat eggs. Gas's you up...

[ownedlikenoob]

lol.... And you do this when you're alone?!

lol

[Tickyy]

Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

God fucking damnit :mad:

no offense but, this made me laugh hard i started to cry while rolling on the floor laughing hahahahahah!!!

[Three__Days__Grace]

lol this works! lmao i feel weird looking up all this crap on how to fart on command xD

[Itankbots]

lol this works! lmao i feel weird looking up all this crap on how to fart on command xD

First post..3 year old grave dig :c

Nice name tho :P

[Neznam]

First post..3 year old grave dig :c

Nice name tho :P

Yeah it is, but guides technically can't be "grave dig"ed. xD

[Three__Days__Grace]

First post..3 year old grave dig :c

Nice name tho :P
Haha I know it's late lol . & Thanks (:

[Plawkx]

Thanks. BEST GUIDE EVER. lmfao

[l6bustank]

Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

God fucking damnit :mad:
Lmao :D, made my day

[chongc]

damn, now i need a guide on how not to fart.

[CustomGames]

Doesnt work for me

[KeepBotting]

10/10 guide

[acow]

50k views? google ftw

[Lipcot]

i heard this got patched!

[YoHoJo]

10/10 Never forget this thread.

[Tonipoika]

Thanks, that helped me. I really needed fart

[Sulferx]

Finally, a life skill worth learning.

[artvilla1000]

Thanks for sharing this post

[KeepBotting]

Thanks for sharing this post

indeed, this thread is the pinnacle of knowledge that villavu has to offer

[Joopi]

stop being such a stinker

[Tringy]

I wanted to know what else this forum had to offer and I guess this is it

[the kappin]

Wow I was hoping for more feedback on here I guess wwe will never know the secrets lol.