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Spontaneity
Code:
It's been 50 days and nights
We've been through several fights
Nothings left to say
I just want to end this fray
Fuck all those things you said
Because none of them were true
What, do ya think I'm mad?
You just haven't got a clue
Yeah, humanity can sometimes be moronic
but that's no need to get all disharmonic
with the world around ya, you know?
Don't always go with the flow
So I gotta tell ya, I had a good time
Take this easy, go read a girly zine
Just disappear out the door,
I can't stand the sight of you no more.
You make me rather sick,
just debased on chick flicks
There's no real character in you
I won't keep you any longer.
First poem. Take it easy with the criticism, I did this in 50 seconds and didn't really have time to bother with metaphors and the deeper heavier stuff. Just freeflow.
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I got bored, so here's another one (perspective of the girl):
Code:
We've been together for so long
How can he still do this and go on
He's been so ridiculously mean
It's just lost it's shiny gleam.
His eyes tell me the story
He's definitely not sorry
To him it's all just lies
Ha! Part of his own demise
I try to fit in and disappear
So he can actually be sincere
It makes me more popular
He just hasn't come very far
It was usually nice with him
Always funny to the brim
What is he telling me here
I'm so full of dreadful fear
Please let me stay in your arms
Just a while to I can warm
No, don't say that to me
I just can't flee!
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Top nudge. They're not really deep, which means I can actually understand them. Who knew ? They rhyme AND make sense, too.
Awesome.
-Knives
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Not extremely deep but it is sad lol, prolly try to make it point to a moral or something :) but, its better than what i could do