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Thread: Programming jokes

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    Default Programming jokes

    Found some pretty funny programming jokes online:



    A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
    After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
    Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
    The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
    Man: But I thought we were in the same class.



    Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.



    Why C gets all the chicks and Java doesn't? Because C doesn't treat them like objects.


    A programmer is heading out to the grocery store, so his wife tells him "get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen." He returns with 13 gallons of milk.





    I thought they where good

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    Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB.


    LOOOL

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    I like these 2 best:

    Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
    A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
    //that infinite loop...


    “Knock, knock.”
    “Who’s there?”
    very long pause….
    “Java.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by riwu View Post
    I like these 2 best:

    Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
    A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
    //that infinite loop...


    “Knock, knock.”
    “Who’s there?”
    very long pause….
    “Java.”
    bahah they like to rag on java

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    bahah they like to rag on java
    Poor Java, people don't even care that it's dramatically improved from 10 years ago.

    Here's an old one, took me a few minutes to find:

    If Programming Languages were Essays




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    Quote Originally Posted by Incurable View Post
    Poor Java, people don't even care that it's dramatically improved from 10 years ago.

    Here's an old one, took me a few minutes to find:

    If Programming Languages were Essays
    I love that image. One of my favorite programming comics. But on that note, Java may have improved significantly over the last 10 years, but that still doesn't make it excel at anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Incurable View Post
    Poor Java, people don't even care that it's dramatically improved from 10 years ago.

    Here's an old one, took me a few minutes to find:

    If Programming Languages were Essays

    Lol that's funny I get all of them except for the Latex one which I had to look up

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    Found some pretty funny programming jokes online:
    A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
    After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
    Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
    The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
    Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
    lolol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
    I love that image. One of my favorite programming comics. But on that note, Java may have improved significantly over the last 10 years, but that still doesn't make it excel at anything.
    Meh, either way it's still a great language and the whole "Java is slooooow" joke is way past its expiry date.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Incurable View Post
    Meh, either way it's still a great language and the whole "Java is slooooow" joke is way past its expiry date.
    Yeah, considering 'slow' is pretty negligible on today's machines in *most* scenarios.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
    Yeah, considering 'slow' is pretty negligible on today's machines in *most* scenarios.
    Sometimes some programs need to perform intensive operations where minor execution speed differences would translate to huge performance differences.
    I think in such cases people would write c/c++ plugins and port it.

    Java is also slow in terms of development time...in some cases u could write a simple Python program that does the same thing with half the time needed for that of java.

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    I am Ggzz..
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    Quote Originally Posted by riwu View Post
    Sometimes some programs need to perform intensive operations where minor execution speed differences would translate to huge performance differences.
    I think in such cases people would write c/c++ plugins and port it.

    Java is also slow in terms of development time...in some cases u could write a simple Python program that does the same thing with half the time needed for that of java.
    That's the beauty of knowing multiple languages, you can use the best one for the task at hand.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brandon View Post
    I laughed so hard at most of those, some of them are absolutely brilliant. I've never thought to add funny comments to my code, I'm going to have to find something to do it in.
    Last edited by Incurable; 09-16-2014 at 10:04 AM.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Incurable View Post
    I've never thought to add funny comments to my code, I'm going to have to find something to do it in.
    I used to do this all the time

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mayor View Post
    I used to do this all the time
    I lol'd, very nice. I just found somewhere to leave one in my current script, look forward to someone finding it and asking "wtf".



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    I r found a programming joke
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashaman88 View Post
    I think those are just screenshots of the stackoverflow page that Brandon posted

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    Quote Originally Posted by BMWxi View Post
    I think those are just screenshots of the stackoverflow page that Brandon posted
    Indeed they are, and it's missing all of the good one's.



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    Quote Originally Posted by BMWxi View Post
    I think those are just screenshots of the stackoverflow page that Brandon posted
    Lame that's what I get for not clicking that link!

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    while not F[3]=F[3]+20 do not begin

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    Some of these are really good. I particularly enjoy these.
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    damn these guys are mad at java
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