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Thread: Parents are Intolerant

  1. #26
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    this is what i referred to in my previous post:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/28/op...cist.html?_r=0

    edit: great vid ! @getskilled thx for sharing it!

  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flight View Post
    Do you have some examples? I wouldn't agree with that. It's really just a common belief, the majority of people who say it would have no real knowledge if it's true or not, just a case of going with the flow.

    I'd personally vouch for their cheap smartphone clones. Off the top of my head I can't think of any logical examples to back up that popular belief. I got a good dose of Asian culture when I lived in Indonesia for the past 4 years. A much clearer understanding, to say the least.

    Also, good for your King, keeping open-minded (and atheism, that's great if you ask me).
    Honestly, mass produced Chinese products are crap, but it has nothing to do with the ethnicity of the workers manufacturing them. Most Chinese products are made in large quantities at as low of a price as possible. It's not something that can really be argued, it's basically fact. That isn't to say, however, that non-Chinese products are inherently better, they can be just as poor a quality as Chinese products.

    ---

    @King, I think that I can give you some advice based on the fact that we're a similar age and I have an 11 year old brother in a similar situation to yours. I am also an Atheist (Antitheist actually, but only when people properly understand what that word means), and I also have some greatly differing views to my parents. My 11 year old brother is very easily influenced by the things that my Dad says, and both myself and my other younger brother (a year younger than me) were easily influenced by the things that he said too. The thing is, at 11 years old, and in your brother's case, 13 years old, you are very easily influenced by those you look up to. I was influenced by what my Dad said all the time, but being that I was raised to think for myself, I soon learned that some of the things that he says just aren't OK, and that they're more of a product of his generation than anything else. There's a good chance that your brother looks up to you in some ways, even if he's never said it, and it's likely that if you set a good example for him, he'll end up being an open, freethinking person just like yourself.

    I disagree with the notion that you need to somehow "steer" or "guide" him in the "right" direction, rather I believe that people in our situation are best off setting a good example for our younger siblings and making sure that they know that we're here for them for absolutely everything. Whether that be asking about girls, sex, religion, social issues (racism, sexism, etc), politics, or anything else. If your younger brother asks a question about something, do your best to explain it to him in a calm and rational way.

    You should also not be afraid to correct things that he says, but that depends entirely on context. If you're in the car with him and he says (absolutely random example), "look at that stupid black guy" or something, correct him and point out what he said wrong in, again, a calm and rational way.

    Best of luck, and respect for being concerned for your brothers development... it's only natural to feel like that, imo, so don't feel as though you're doing something wrong. Just remember that he is his own person and he will develop his own personality and character in time, just as you did. You seem to have turned out alright despite the issues you have with your parents, so unless something drastic happens, your brother probably will too.
    Last edited by Incurable; 12-08-2014 at 04:47 AM.



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  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by BMWxi View Post
    I'm sure there have been 13 year olds here at one point. After all, 13 year olds play RS and some of those players will want to bot and some that want to bot will want to not get banned so some will come here.

    And @NKN; is somewhere around that age I think?

    Also for King: Your brother might also end up basing his behaviour off of yours to some extent so if he sees you as someone that he wants to be like when he gets older then he might end up with views similar to yours.
    NKN is 15 I think, I'm quite sure he's a year younger than me. But we do have a 10 year old on SRL; but not active in the community.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harrier View Post
    NKN is 15 I think, I'm quite sure he's a year younger than me. But we do have a 10 year old on SRL; but not active in the community.
    I'm 16.

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by NKN View Post
    I'm 16.
    Ya gettin old now
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  6. #31
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    If I was you; I would not get involved, as someone had mentioned earlier. Let him grow up and once he is old enough he will know what is right and what is wrong in the future;

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Incurable View Post
    Honestly, mass produced Chinese products are crap, but it has nothing to do with the ethnicity of the workers manufacturing them. Most Chinese products are made in large quantities at as low of a price as possible. It's not something that can really be argued, it's basically fact. That isn't to say, however, that non-Chinese products are inherently better, they can be just as poor a quality as Chinese products.

    ---

    @King, I think that I can give you some advice based on the fact that we're a similar age and I have an 11 year old brother in a similar situation to yours. I am also an Atheist (Antitheist actually, but only when people properly understand what that word means), and I also have some greatly differing views to my parents. My 11 year old brother is very easily influenced by the things that my Dad says, and both myself and my other younger brother (a year younger than me) were easily influenced by the things that he said too. The thing is, at 11 years old, and in your brother's case, 13 years old, you are very easily influenced by those you look up to. I was influenced by what my Dad said all the time, but being that I was raised to think for myself, I soon learned that some of the things that he says just aren't OK, and that they're more of a product of his generation than anything else. There's a good chance that your brother looks up to you in some ways, even if he's never said it, and it's likely that if you set a good example for him, he'll end up being an open, freethinking person just like yourself.

    I disagree with the notion that you need to somehow "steer" or "guide" him in the "right" direction, rather I believe that people in our situation are best off setting a good example for our younger siblings and making sure that they know that we're here for them for absolutely everything. Whether that be asking about girls, sex, religion, social issues (racism, sexism, etc), politics, or anything else. If your younger brother asks a question about something, do your best to explain it to him in a calm and rational way.

    You should also not be afraid to correct things that he says, but that depends entirely on context. If you're in the car with him and he says (absolutely random example), "look at that stupid black guy" or something, correct him and point out what he said wrong in, again, a calm and rational way.

    Best of luck, and respect for being concerned for your brothers development... it's only natural to feel like that, imo, so don't feel as though you're doing something wrong. Just remember that he is his own person and he will develop his own personality and character in time, just as you did. You seem to have turned out alright despite the issues you have with your parents, so unless something drastic happens, your brother probably will too.
    I am more than likely going to take this approach, as I am a bit calmer now than I was beforehand when I noticed his views leaking threw of my dads. @Robert my dad is racist as he does not like black people because they are black?...He reinforces negative stereotypes and honesty believes them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by King View Post
    I am more than likely going to take this approach, as I am a bit calmer now than I was beforehand when I noticed his views leaking threw of my dads. @Robert my dad is racist as he does not like black people because they are black?...He reinforces negative stereotypes and honesty believes them.
    Examples?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    Examples?
    Are you seriously asking King to prove to you that his father, a man that you have and will never meet, is a racist?

    ---

    King, that's good to hear, I'm glad I could offer you some sound advice.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Incurable View Post
    Are you seriously asking King to prove to you that his father, a man that you have and will never meet, is a racist?

    ---

    King, that's good to hear, I'm glad I could offer you some sound advice.
    I'm not going to assume someone is racist based off 1 persons observations.

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    I'm not going to assume someone is racist based off 1 persons observations.
    Your ignorance is showing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NKN View Post
    Your ignorance is showing.
    So I gotta judge someone else that I never met based off 1 persons word? Lol, ok.

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    Quote Originally Posted by King View Post
    I am more than likely going to take this approach, as I am a bit calmer now than I was beforehand when I noticed his views leaking threw of my dads. @Robert my dad is racist as he does not like black people because they are black?...He reinforces negative stereotypes and honesty believes them.
    That is a good approach to go with, it should be applauded that you care for your brother and are looking out for him.
    Some of the time people don't listen anyway and you have to let them take their own path and make their own mistakes.

    Have you ever challenged your dad on his views or spoke to him about it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    So I gotta judge someone else that I never met based off 1 persons word? Lol, ok.
    nobody said you had to judge anyone

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    Quote Originally Posted by undorak7 View Post
    nobody said you had to judge anyone
    But I'm not going to assume hes racist if I don't know him

    If he is then sucks for him theres a lot of cool people hes missing out on interacting with

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    But I'm not going to assume hes racist if I don't know him

    If he is then sucks for him theres a lot of cool people hes missing out on interacting with
    yeah i understand what you say, but the focus of the post was not if his dad was racist or not, but that his brother was getting his father views and king not wanting that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    Examples?
    My parents, specifically my dad are racist. He usually keeps his ideas to himself, however his comments about Blacks, Chinese specifically (all cheap, Meric'a yeah) type issues. We usually do not agree on opinions as I am an atheist and he is Christain, but that is something I've dealt with. Usually I can just deal with this however today my brother who is 13 made a comment to the affect of "I dont want that, it is a cheap Chinese piece of crap" and I've seen our dad's views leaking through and this really upsets me as I am one to embrace culture, diversity and ethnicity. I love it and always have.

    There you go. In his original post is an example of what his brother said which he states is "our dad's views leaking through".

    You shouldn't need any more examples seeing as this is a close family relative and it is considered a reliable source.

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    Quote Originally Posted by P1nky View Post
    If I was you; I would not get involved, as someone had mentioned earlier. Let him grow up and once he is old enough he will know what is right and what is wrong in the future;
    I think this is the best thing to do so long as things don't get out of control (if your bro actually starts to act on his racist thoughts like joining a hate group or participating in riots or is intentionally abrasive to those races such as calling a black guy a nigger to his face [this might get him rekt lol] or mocking a chinese guy's accent to his face). It's not really your job to tell your brother what to believe, it's best that he figure it out himself. Otherwise it'll end up being worse for him as he won't truly understand why what he's saying is bad. It's a valuable skill that is developed through experience.

    If things get out of control you should probably let your parents know and hopefully they have enough sense to rectify the situation...if not well...gl

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    Quote Originally Posted by J_R View Post
    I think this is the best thing to do so long as things don't get out of control (if your bro actually starts to act on his racist thoughts like joining a hate group or participating in riots or is intentionally abrasive to those races such as calling a black guy a nigger to his face [this might get him rekt lol] or mocking a chinese guy's accent to his face). It's not really your job to tell your brother what to believe, it's best that he figure it out himself. Otherwise it'll end up being worse for him as he won't truly understand why what he's saying is bad. It's a valuable skill that is developed through experience.

    If things get out of control you should probably let your parents know and hopefully they have enough sense to rectify the situation...if not well...gl
    I agree, I will be taking this approach, just trying to set a good example for him.

    I appreciate the responses guys, @Robert if you are going to simply argue whether or not my dad is racist in his views please just stop. I do not see what you gain from this besides trying to incite people?

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    Quote Originally Posted by John View Post
    He look up after his father then. His views won't change until he starts to find things he disagrees with his dad on. When this happens he will question what his father says and formulate his own opinions.
    From personal experience this could literally not be any more true. All it will take is one slight disagreement to shatter his mutually adapted opinions.
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    Quote Originally Posted by J_R View Post
    ...It's not really your job to tell your brother what to believe, it's best that he figure it out himself. Otherwise it'll end up being worse for him as he won't truly understand why what he's saying is bad. It's a valuable skill that is developed through experience.
    'Tis true what you're saying but I don't believe it's the completely the right thing to do. If it were me I wouldn't push them to either side, I would just make it absolutely clear that their opinions and choices should be decided upon by themselves and not at all influenced by others. Just encourage them to think on their own, whether they agree with the common opinions or not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flight View Post
    'Tis true what you're saying but I don't believe it's the completely the right thing to do. If it were me I wouldn't push them to either side, I would just make it absolutely clear that their opinions and choices should be decided upon by themselves and not at all influenced by others. Just encourage them to think on their own, whether they agree with the common opinions or not.
    I'm not too sure that everyone can tell someone to make their own choice without influencing them in some way. Being impartial is super hard when almost everything has a connotation.

    Anyway, sometimes (actually quite often) it's good to have opinions and choices influenced by others as if you don't take in multiple viewpoints and digest them yourself, you'd be making uninformed decisions. The skill to pick up is to recognize exactly how much to weight all the inputs (for example the doctor may know what's up about surgery unlike your best friend working at a tech company). Just don't get hypnotized by others or force your views on them.

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    Try talking to your dad seriously and tell him how you feel.

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    I know what kind of position you're in. My entire family is full of devout Catholics, and I decided my own beliefs rather than be forced to accept the one they wanted. Being the religious outcast of the family isn't ideal, but it's better than conforming to something because that's what they want you to believe. You and I are in the same boat, and I commend you for thinking for yourself.

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    Old fashioned people. Raised wrong by parents whose parents went through wars, scarred forever. Just have compassion and understanding for them. However you should talk to your brother and tell him not to listen to the father, listen, but don't take his words for anything. Else he'll end up like him. Bitter and what not. Religion is also one of the problems. Can't say more, might offend someone.

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