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Thread: How To Make Yourself Fart

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    Default [Updated]How To Make Yourself Fart

    How To Make Your Self Fart

    Written By NeehoSoft
    Updated today to remove "google it" and add more detail. Sorry i was in a hurry before
    Disclaimer: This technique does not work with everyone and takes a lot of practice. I am not responsible for what happens from this guide/

    Info
    This skill takes alot of work to master. What we are going to be doing, is relaxing your butt mussels, and allowing air to come in and do some scientific thing i dont know about so basicly air rushes into your butthole and you can use it to fart.

    FAQ:
    Q:Once mastered, can you do this anywhere?
    A: Yes

    Q:Am i going to have to arch my butt up in the middle of class?
    A:No, once your good you can do it sitting down.

    Q:Can i light these farts on fire?
    A:No, the gas normally in farts is methane, this is simply inhaling air into the butt hole and pushing it out making it sound like a fart. Sometimes it can mix with methane and smell though.

    Getting Started Farting on command.
    Steps:
    1)Arch your butt up, lay on your stomach and on your knees.. Relax your butt. One way of doing this is tensing up for 10 seconds, and then releasing.
    2)Flex for a while.
    3)Eventually, you feel air rushing through your butthole.
    4)Use the air to fart
    Eventually you can fart anywhere at anytime.
    Air is good enough for multiple farts.
    There are 2 reasons for doing this:
    1)It's really funny - But I got kicked out of class today for farting on my friend
    2)It can release pressure in your stomach by releasing whatever is in there, don't overuse or its bad.

    Practice
    Every night you go to bed, 20mins -1hr of practicing farting. Eventualy, once you get very good at it, you can do it while sitting down in a chair or something and it wont take too long.

    Foods that Help Produce Methane (if you want smelly farts)
    *Beans
    *Bread

    Tell me if you get anywhere
    -NeehoSoft
    Last edited by Neehosoft; 10-06-2009 at 08:14 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    LOL.... and you do this when you're alone?!
    Sean[714] @rscheata.net

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    Hey! I do this to. Lay on your stomach, and then get your legs on their knees, and point your butt in the air. Make sure its pointed nice and high, and then just flex it around a bit, and air will go into your butt. Keep doing this for a while, and then eventually once your butt has inhaled enough air it will fart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by YoHoJo View Post
    Hey! I do this to. Lay on your stomach, and then get your legs on their knees, and point your butt in the air. Make sure its pointed nice and high, and then just flex it around a bit, and air will go into your butt. Keep doing this for a while, and then eventually once your butt has inhaled enough air it will fart!
    Don't forget to have your lighter ready.
    I do visit every 2-6 months

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neehosoft View Post
    mussels
    should be muscles
    Quote Originally Posted by Neehosoft View Post
    There are many methods of this, google it.
    We are here to learn from the tut, if tut just says "google it" I don't think it is a very god tut. Why not list a few of these methods for us please?
    Quote Originally Posted by ZaSz View Post
    Don't forget to have your lighter ready.
    The gas exiting the anus will not be combustible, since the technique involves drawing air into the anus with the sphincters relaxed, then closing the sphincters and expelling the air, to produce the fart sound. This isn't the natural gas composition (methane), so the gas being expelled is inert.

    edit:
    Also, one of my friends does this some times, I guess his uncle is the best and (supposedly) ripped a pair of underwear doing it, lol. My bud did it when we were camping once, we were all in the same tent, and he starting laying funny, and said the beans were getting to him...and he started farting for like 10 mins straight....we thought we were going to die in the tent. Then he told us the trick and it was a merry old time.

    I've done this a little bit on accident before, I've been able to draw in the air (yes it feels very cold), but I couldn't do much with it afterwards....and then once it closes on me, it's closed for good XD
    Last edited by Brain; 10-05-2009 at 01:09 PM.
    Proud owner of "Efferator" my totally boted main account!
    "You see, sometimes, science is not a guess" -Xiaobing Zhou (my past physics professor, with heavy Chinese accent)

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    Erm...Nice tut? But anyway, like Brain said, this is a tutorial, so we'd expect to learn the methods from here...Not Google.
    <3

    Quote Originally Posted by Eminem
    I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.

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    Lmao this is so funny
    I imagine YoHoJo doing that :S Looks reeeeaally weird

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    Quote Originally Posted by YoHoJo View Post
    Hey! I do this to. Lay on your stomach, and then get your legs on their knees, and point your butt in the air. Make sure its pointed nice and high, and then just flex it around a bit, and air will go into your butt. Keep doing this for a while, and then eventually once your butt has inhaled enough air it will fart!
    Lmao. I love you no homo.

    Quote Originally Posted by ZaSz View Post
    Don't forget to have your lighter ready.
    You cant make a good fart fire with this, it's air not gas.
    Quote Originally Posted by oo0o
    Lmao..and you do this when your alone?
    No lol i do it in class once you mastered this you can do it anywhere and fast.
    Last edited by Neehosoft; 10-06-2009 at 08:10 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    .......
    i do this sometimes by accident, but never on purpose...
    weirdos lol
    NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN

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    Quote Originally Posted by bionicle1800 View Post
    .......
    i do this sometimes by accident, but never on purpose...
    weirdos lol
    haha, i am honered to have you post on my thread.
    Your tuts taught me a lot.
    PM me if you need any help farting...:P
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    so why would you want to do this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by josh81193 View Post
    so why would you want to do this?
    1)It's funny
    2)It can be used to re-leave pain
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neehosoft View Post
    I got kicked out of class today for farting on my friend
    Hahahaha pwned!

    Nice TUT btw, I'll try it just for fun and to see if I can do it. You mention that you need to practise this a lot to master it(practise farting sounds so funny! ) so my question is, are you a master of this?
    ~T2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neehosoft View Post
    haha, i am honered to have you post on my thread.
    Your tuts taught me a lot.
    PM me if you need any help farting...:P
    lol thanks
    im not sure i'll need help farting any time soon, if i really need to i'll just grab a can of baked beans xD
    NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN

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    Quote Originally Posted by tico2 View Post
    Hahahaha pwned!

    Nice TUT btw, I'll try it just for fun and to see if I can do it. You mention that you need to practise this a lot to master it(practise farting sounds so funny! ) so my question is, are you a master of this?
    Yeah lol, for like 6months, i practiced an hour a month. I know can do it anywehere and really fast.
    Ask if you need help.
    Edit: Thanks for the Rep, im almost 2 squares
    Last edited by Neehosoft; 10-07-2009 at 06:06 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    BTW, methane isn't the thing that smell. The bacteria in your small intestine produce hydrogen fluoride, and that is the thing that smells.

    Doing lower abdominal exercises can also help in the process of flatulence.
    Oh Hai Dar

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    Oh your god, don't pull open your anus to get air in there, it reminds me of Goatse >:|

    Also, if you truly want to gross out people with farts, you will lose popularity, quickly


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    Please do not send me a PM asking for help; I will not be able to help you! Post in a relevant thread or make your own! And always remember to search first!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Harry View Post
    Oh your god, don't pull open your anus to get air in there, it reminds me of Goatse >:|

    Also, if you truly want to gross out people with farts, you will lose popularity, quickly
    That's not the goal.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    Omg this is so gross... But awesome =D

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    Quote Originally Posted by XRaye View Post
    Omg this is so gross... But awesome =D
    ahaha
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    you are a beauty.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blumblebee View Post
    you are a beauty.
    who?
    Quote Originally Posted by Cstrike View Post
    Why do I even try these things? I just shit my pants over this god damn tutorial. Fuck, that's uncleanable. I can't even wash that out because there's so much of my shit it will just stain everything else. If I put it in the washing machine, I'm sure to stain the sides.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neehosoft View Post
    who?
    me

    Quote Originally Posted by Harry View Post
    Oh your god, don't pull open your anus to get air in there, it reminds me of Goatse >:|

    Also, if you truly want to gross out people with farts, you will lose popularity, quickly
    he doesn't have any popularity


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    The best tutorial. ever.

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