For those of you who are depressed, or act like it, and are not currently emo..you may want to take this guide into consideration.
It used to be considered "cool" Well not really, but you will have alot of people who think they are "individual" when they all look the same.
Lesson 1: Veganomics
Be a vegan. My World Book dictionary (copyright 1972) describes a vegan as:
veg*an, n., adj. British. -n. a strict vegetarian: The true vegan excludes all animal protein from his diet, and he may even forego articles of clothing and household equipment of animal origin (New Scientist).
-adj. strictly vegetarian: It is difficult for a vegan diet not to result in deficiencies (J.G. Sutherland). [veg(etari)an]
...but don't become a vegan because you care about animal rights and the preservation of wildlife. Be a vegan to be cool.
Lesson 3:Tight Pants
Wear them roughly 5 sizes too small. Thats all.
Lesson 4: Dad's Closet
Go into your Father's closet, or into any "Mens" department at your local mall, and find some button down shirts. These shirts must look like any 40-55 year old would wear while doing yard work.
Next, find some sweaters...the fuzzier the better. Your dad's closet or dresser drawer is bound to be full of these things.
On your way to the vests. You might want to look in the closet again for these, as they are usually ironed so that dad will look good at the office. Put it on and take it to a sweaty concert.
Look for a REALLY LONG BELT. If your dad's fat, you're more than likely to find this accessory.
Sweater-vests are a good find as well. If none of these things float your boat, get some really tight t-shirts. Anything that looks somewhat emo, take 'em, and wear these garments to complete your emo look.
dont forget the thick rimmed glasses!
Lesson 5: Backpacks, Backpacks, Backpacks!!
Grab your backpack. Take all the unimportant things out...these things include pencils, school books, term papers, calculators, or anything that's taking up valuable space in there. Keep things an emo kid like yourself might need. For example:
* vegan food
* extra patches in case the ones on your bag fall off
* emo poetry
* extra hair dye
* wood beaded necklasses
* Razor
Make sure you have all the popular emo band's patches sewn onto your satchel. You want to make sure everyone knows how much you love these bands so they will think you're cool.
Lesson 6: Acting Emo in Everyday Life
These next two are very important lessons, because this is when all of the emo kids will be judging you. Act uninterested in everything. Nothing in the world is exciting enough for you.
If you walk into someone's living room and there's a rinocerous in there, act like it doesn't excite you. Just yawn, and ask for some rice pilaf or beans to munch on. Be really WHINY about it too. Whine a lot, and you'll be on your way to acting emo.
Lesson 7: Acting Emo at Emo Concerts
Once completing lessons (1) through (5), make your way to the emo show. It doesn't matter how you get there, because any method of transportation is emo exept for mopeds, bicycles, roller-skates, and limos. If you want to be TOTALLY emo, show up in a late-1980's van with all your favorite stickers on the back.
Now, the band comes on. You stand up front where you can see the band, and the band can see you. Do one of the following: either cross your arms, or put your hands in your pockets. The only time you're allowed to move your hands is when you clap at the end of a song.
Bob your head along with the music, but remember lesson (6) - ACT UNINTERESTED. Even if this is your favorite band in the world, you MUST NOT sing along, or even cheer after songs. Just applaud.
Lesson 8: Emo Music
Try to listen to mainly emo music.
Lesson 9: "Cut" Well not really, use a thumbtack and barely scratch the skin on your wrists so it bleeds a bit. Then people think that your trying to commit suicide. They will notice this and nod in approval.. you will feel your emoness rising.
Lip Ring:
Get one of these quick!
The Hair!
Make sure its weird, and use lots of gell and dye.
MYSPACE or XANGA
Get one of these blogs and post emo pictures of yourself, and make fake families of emo colleages.
ACTING GAY
Make sure you like the opposite sex, well at least interested in them. Its very important.
I hope this list was acurate enough to make you emo in a short period of time, and not cost you a lot of money. Take care.
Found this guide a year ago, edited it abit to my liking.![]()






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