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Thread: correct my half done essay

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    Default correct my half done essay

    as far as content goes, this is only about half(probly more) done. im just posting it here so i can get extra feedback before i turn it in on friday

    Why The Catholic Church is Corrupt

    “What? You say the Earth rotates around the SUN? You should be burned at the stake for this heresy” exclaims the mid-evil prosecuting catholic bishop at Galileo‘s court meeting. Ever since religion has become the main ruling over one’s point of view, and especially governments, religion has become corrupt. Powerful and corrupt religions has murdered people, has been the root of major wars, and has even forced others to give up their own “cult” of a religion. If a certain religion becomes powerful enough, such as the reign of the mid-evil Roman Catholic Church, it can not only get away with literally murder, but it can brainwash, control, and take down anyone who would stand in their way.

    (As Mark Klemkosky put it: “Give a man a few hundred followers, and you call him a cult, give him a few million and you call him the Pope.” Ever since Christianity started, the religious leaders have been using propaganda and violence to persuade and brainwash its followers. Take Paganism for example. The people who believed in paganism believed in many gods, although they only worship one “chief god”. They also are nice hearted, “country dwellers”, and are usually isolated from a major population. More of the somewhat modern pagans cherish the earth, and even have their gods live in the center of earth. Now, thanks to the mid-evil Roman Catholics and their propaganda against the pagans, the word itself “Pagan” is usually referred to as someone who isn’t a follower of Christianity, or Catholicism, sometimes even referred to as “Satanic”.

    The pagan propaganda did not stop there. Soon after (about 100-200 years) Christianity controlled much of western (or “modern”) Europe, the scientific revolution was just about to be getting started, with scientists such as, and not limited to, Galileo, Giovanni Alfonso Borelli , Robert Boyle , Nicolas Copernicus, and Isaac Newton. With all of this revolution, and heresy, the Catholic Church had to do something about it. In order for other people to pay attention to the church, the church leaders used “fear tactics”, which mostly consisted of corrupting the word “satan”, which is literally a Latin word for “accuser” or “opposer”, and turned it into a word that is now known as “anti-church” or even to most people, as “devil worshiping”. After the church had convinced every one that Satan is literally the “devil”, they started phase two, which is putting scientists into a very biased court system, accusing them of heresy against the church, and forever called one a Satanist. This is one of the biggest widespread and defiling acts of propaganda from the Roman Catholic Church.

    keep in mind, that this is suposed to be in MLA, and it looks much bigger in microsoft word/ paper also, it does not matter that i am correct on my opinion, as long as im supporting it strongly and all that crap, so i dont want to see any arguments in this
    <TViYH> i had a dream about you again awkwardsaw
    Malachi 2:3

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    Mark Klemkosky isn't a person, according to Wikipedia.

    wat

    Why The Catholic Church is Corrupt

    “What? You say the earth rotates around the sun? You should be burned at the stake for this heresy!” exclaims the mid-evil prosecuting catholic bishop at Galileo's court meeting. Ever since religion has become the main ruling over one’s point of view, and especially government's, religion has become corrupt. Powerful and corrupt religions have murdered people, have been the root of major wars, and have even forced others to give up their own “cult” of a religion. If a certain religion becomes powerful enough, such as the reign of the mid-evil Roman Catholic Church, it can not only get away with literally murder, but it can brainwash, control, and take down anyone who would stand in their way.

    (As Mark Klemkosky put it: “Give a man a few hundred followers, and you call him a cult leader, give him a few million and you call him the Pope.” Ever since Christianity started, its religious leaders have been using propaganda and violence to persuade and brainwash its followers. Take Paganism for example. The people who believed in Paganism believed in many gods, although they only worship one “chief god”. They also are bighearted, “country dwellers”, and are usually isolated from the major population. More of the somewhat modern Pagans cherish the earth, and even have their gods live in the center of Earth. Now, thanks to the mid-evil Roman Catholics and their propaganda against the Pagans, the word “pagan” is usually used to refer to someone who isn’t a follower of Christianity, and is sometimes even deemed a “satanic follower”.

    The pagan propaganda did not stop there. Soon after (about 100-200 years) Christianity controlled much of western (or “modern”) Europe, the scientific revolution was just about to be getting started, with scientists such as, and not limited to, Galileo, Giovanni Alfonso Borelli, Robert Boyle, Nicolas Copernicus, and Isaac Newton. The Catholic church had to do something to deal with such revolutionary ideologies and heresy. In order for others to pay attention to the church, the church leaders used “fear tactics”, which mostly consisted of corrupting Satan, which is literally a Latin word for “accuser” or “opposer”, and turned it into a word that is now known as “anti-church” or even to most people, as “devil worshiping”. After the church had convinced every one that Satan is literally the “devil”, they started phase two, which is putting scientists into a very biased court system, accusing them of heresy against the church, and forever called one a Satanist. This is one of the biggest widespread and defiling acts of propaganda from the Roman Catholic Church.

    If I do say so myself, your ideas/views aren't entirely correct. Just saying. Well maybe not that extreme, but they're not very powerful or anything.
    Last edited by i luffs yeww; 04-27-2010 at 03:14 AM.

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    ok well i would advise changing the title, for since you dont have a thesis, i am guessing the point of your paper is to prove how the catholic church is corrupt. good job, you showed how it WAS corrupt, but you offer up no support for your title.

    also i sorta found it funny how you talked about Robert Boyle , Nicolas Copernicus, and Isaac Newton. check out the third letter that was sent to Copernicus by a cardinal of the catholic church: http://www.webexhibits.org/calendars...opernicus.html. all three of those people were devout Christians. I would advise tweaking up that section.

    i just reread it to try and find a thesis, again. your thesis might be, "Powerful and corrupt religions have murdered people, have been the root of major wars, and have even forced others to give up their own “cult” of a religion." but i am not sure. if it is this, you need to either completely change your thesis, or rewrite your essay.

    one last thing: sources? like that opening statement NEEDS a source (and the quote in the second paragraph). almost everything in the third paragraph needs a source. sources are key if you want someone to take your paper seriously. especially a controversial one.

    you need far more structure. i have no clue where you are going through out the paper (mainly due to a lack of thesis).


    i will clarify this, for you might not take my advise that has been given: i am a Christian, do not full agree with some of the things you have said, BUT i have written this stuff here so that you can achieve the best grade. please don't think i am here just ranting because i don't agree with your beliefs. if you had more sources and some better facts (and done the other stuff i mentioned) i would give you a far better grade (if i was your teacher).

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    ^ I talked to him about the actual assignment. It doesn't make sense but whatever. His points aren't very powerful, as I said. And I'm an atheist, and I don't fully agree with what he said (just about all of it). None of his points are fair or valid, tbh. If you bash a religion you should at least know about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by i luffs yeww View Post
    ^ I talked to him about the actual assignment. It doesn't make sense but whatever. His points aren't very powerful, as I said. And I'm an atheist, and I don't fully agree with what he said (just about all of it). None of his points are fair or valid, tbh. If you bash a religion you should at least know about it.
    you just earned lots of respect from me. i am the same way (just have a different stance on religion than you do :P )

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