Life Advice?

[3Garrett3]

Pfff... thats not the right attitude. I guess thats the only solution. (trolling)

But serious, earlier in this post someone said that drugs aren't the solution. I do not agree with that, it's the only thing that keeps me happy in tough times. Don't use coke or an overdose alcohol or such. I say stick to the weet and Mexican mushrooms, with friends of course.

I have weed, and alcohol. I've been cutting back on the weed though, and I don't want to turn to drugs to get me through hard times. We all have to suffer at some points in our lives. It only makes us stronger.

[Dervish]

You don't know how many times I've been told that. I just can't force myself to.



I don't plan on cutting myself. I don't know how it helps people feel better, or whatever it's supposed to do.

I think its psychologic thingy, you feel its your fault, thus you must punish yourself, thus you cut yourself and feel... less guilty I guess....

[masterBB]

I think its psychologic thingy, you feel its your fault, thus you must punish yourself, thus you cut yourself and feel... less guilty I guess....

Never felt that way I guess... Never thought anything bad happens to me is my fault. It is always the way things go... I got a lot of bad luck, but just by acting I don't, life seems better.

I try to enjoy life as much as possible at those moments, try to look happier on the outside as you actually are. Most people will respond positive to such an attitude, the thing that will drag you out of the down feeling.

[Sir R. M8gic1an]

There's many things to do, about a girl, and about depression.

Let me just give you a bit on context first.
All good things in life involve a risk. (Playing sports, having sex, loving, doing drugs, etc)
In order to take a risk, you need to have the confidence to take it.

Depressions, are (in my slightly informed opinion) mostly a matter of confidence. You don't have the confidence to do the things that would make you happy, and therefore, not doing any of those things makes you unhappy.

With a girl, where you don't know what to do, the attack on your happyness is obvious.
And if you for some reason lack the confidence to do what would make you happy (eg kiss the girl) then, commonly enough, it'll start a downward spiral on your confidence.

Negative Frame
If you pay attention to your thoughts, you can realize in what kind of frame they are.
eg
I just can't get the girl - inability frame (negative)
What a shitty day - unhappy frame (negative)
Haha, I did thing x really well today - positive frame
I've definitely improved my guitar skills - positive frame

Now, the big problem with this is that negative thoughts lead to further negative thoughts. You are seeing things from a negative frame, and therefore there is no way you would be happy about it. What you need to do is see the bright side of life

bad: My guitar playing today was still really crappy.
good: I feel like I've slightly improved my guitar playing.

And when you have specific thoughts that are negative and you say them to yourself often, a good way to 'counter' it is just by having the same thought, but in a positive frame and repeat it to yourself quite a few times. (Psycologists say every night)

Remember that the brain does not interpret the word not properly.

bad: I do not suck at guitar
good: My guitar playing is getting better


About the girl. Every woman likes to talk about herself. If you manage to break the ice of a conversation, they'll be more than happy to open up. Without any other details, there's not situation specific help anyone can give.



~RM

[3Garrett3]

About the girl. Every woman likes to talk about herself. If you manage to break the ice of a conversation, they'll be more than happy to open up. Without any other details, there's not situation specific help anyone can give.



~RM

I kinda love you, just sayin.

We talk all the time. There isn't any ice breaking to be done.

She keeps telling me that she loves me, which just brings me down more, because I know that she doesn't actually feel the same way. I try to be positive about it, but I know that she means it in the same way that I said it to you, it's not meaningful love. Then she doesn't understand why I tell her to stop saying it. She thinks it should make me happy that she likes me as a friend, which it really does, don't get me wrong, but after all the times we've gotten so close to going out, it just isn't the same.

[Blumblebee]

http://fukung.net/v/28411/da3f57a018...58179f4226.jpg

this helped me the first 10 times I read it. Every has the same problem, I can tell you it happens to everyone, hell it's happening to me.

If you want to talk about it with someone mark_willms@hotmail.com is my msn. I find it nice to talk to someone you don't know so you don't have to worry about what they may think. With that said it's just an invitation, hopefully things work out for you.

[3Garrett3]

http://fukung.net/v/28411/da3f57a018...58179f4226.jpg

this helped me the first 10 times I read it. Every has the same problem, I can tell you it happens to everyone, hell it's happening to me.

If you want to talk about it with someone mark_willms@hotmail.com is my msn. I find it nice to talk to someone you don't know so you don't have to worry about what they may think. With that said it's just an invitation, hopefully things work out for you.

Holy shit I love that picture.

I'll add you

[thebob142]

Go bash the persons skull in that made up the story, and tell them to go fix it or they will get another visit from you.

[Dan Cardin]

Speaking from experience, if she doesn't believe your story over a rumour her friend told her, she isn't worth the trouble. If she's oblivious to how much you want to be with her and says she can't trust you, she won't trust you.

Get out of there ASAP, its contradictory advice, but it's helped me out.

that was my second thought. Unless she's suffering from some type of trust issue that she had from when she was younger, and thus its not her fault, she just doesn't like you enough to either get over it, or she's using it as an excuse for not getting farther.

I wonder...has she had any boyfriends since then? and how old is she?

My first thought was to make sure the other girl knows how much of an asshole she is by wasting 3 years of your and her own friends' happiness. Hopefully she would then tell her friend that she was lying. Then whatever happens after you talk to her, "dispose" of her. That's how you do things. She takes away 3 years of your life? You take away the next ~75 of her's.

[3Garrett3]

that was my second thought. Unless she's suffering from some type of trust issue that she had from when she was younger, and thus its not her fault, she just doesn't like you enough to either get over it, or she's using it as an excuse for not getting farther.

I wonder...has she had any boyfriends since then? and how old is she?

My first thought was to make sure the other girl knows how much of an asshole she is by wasting 3 years of your and her own friends' happiness. Hopefully she would then tell her friend that she was lying. Then whatever happens after you talk to her, "dispose" of her. That's how you do things. She takes away 3 years of your life? You take away the next ~75 of her's.

She's had kind-of relationships since then. Nothing lasting for over a month.

She's 16, I'm 17.

The problem with killing the person who said it is that she wont tell me who it was, so I don't know who made it up.

[Dan Cardin]

And have you had relationships since then?

Then you could dispose of everyone that she's friends with, or maybe she's making that person up so you'd have to dispose of her instead. If you talked to one of her good friends though, especially if you are friends with any of them, i'm sure they would know. The best thing to do probably would have been having that girl you went with to tell her that you didn't make out, but that was quite a while ago. It probably wouldn't have the same impact.

[3Garrett3]

That girl has told her already, she doesn't believe it.

And yes, I went out with a girl for two months in the summer, but broke up with her when I started liking this girl more than her, again.

[Dan Cardin]

Hmmm. I proclaim that this girl just doesn't want you. She has more proof than her friend possibly could have given her unless you have narcolepsy and this girl made out with you whilst you were sleeping. Which means she's doing it on purpose.

[i luffs yeww]

Go smoke a lot of weed, drop some acid, nom some shrooms, and try some benzos. Benzos are actually incredibly nice, in my opinion. I took 2mg of Klonopin on Tuesday and I've been pretty happy. Trying Valium and Xanax soon.

[Tim0suprem0]

Hmmm. I proclaim that this girl just doesn't want you. She has more proof than her friend possibly could have given her unless you have narcolepsy and this girl made out with you whilst you were sleeping. Which means she's doing it on purpose.

At first I was going to ask you for her address, so I could print and mail her the paragraph where you explained how you felt about her, because it would obviously have won her heart over.

But I have to be really honest with you dude. The fact that she claims some mystery person said something that is blatantly untrue about you, and refuses to believe you, who she was close with before that, just makes it seem like she's making it up. In fact, it sounds like she's really fucking manipulative, just going off what you've said here, about her getting close to you and then fucking you over. To me, it seems like she's using this story (which is now 3 years old...) to control you in a way. I know you like her, and she may very well like you, but it just sounds to me like it would be much better if you either

1) went all for it and either got it or got completely rejected
OR
2) just broke everything off with her

because this whole thing sounds so long and drawn out and painful I feel terrible for you.

[Narcle]

Hate to say this but sounds like she's totally playing you.

Your still young, there are tons of girls out there that might be for you. Its not a crime to love another. I believe its unfair to a one-sided love. If you want to hang out with her that's up to you, but I wouldn't push the matter. If she really cares about you, wait for her to prove herself.

From personal experience - enjoy high school while you can. Once your out time FLYS. I'd just focus on other things. Have fun with your friends, party etc.

[3Garrett3]

From personal experience - enjoy high school while you can. Once your out time FLYS. I'd just focus on other things. Have fun with your friends, party etc.

I've got two weeks left. Less than that maybe? 3 days of classes, two exams, prom (and prom party) and grad (and grad party).

But grad is in like 2 and a half weeks or something.

[Narcle]

I've got two weeks left. Less than that maybe? 3 days of classes, two exams, prom (and prom party) and grad (and grad party).

But grad is in like 2 and a half weeks or something.

Oh shit well congrats on graduating. In any case my other points still stand.

[Blumblebee]

At first I was going to ask you for her address, so I could print and mail her the paragraph where you explained how you felt about her, because it would obviously have won her heart over.

But I have to be really honest with you dude. The fact that she claims some mystery person said something that is blatantly untrue about you, and refuses to believe you, who she was close with before that, just makes it seem like she's making it up. In fact, it sounds like she's really fucking manipulative, just going off what you've said here, about her getting close to you and then fucking you over. To me, it seems like she's using this story (which is now 3 years old...) to control you in a way. I know you like her, and she may very well like you, but it just sounds to me like it would be much better if you either

1) went all for it and either got it or got completely rejected
OR
2) just broke everything off with her

because this whole thing sounds so long and drawn out and painful I feel terrible for you.

going for it and getting rejected at least you know you tried. The regret of never trying hurts more than the rejection does, or atleast I would like to think that. Regardless if she means that much to you, you might as well put in everything you got. I will warn you though, it feels fucking awful if she rejects you.

[Rich]

Try Teen Hut. They've got really nice community, and you can talk about anything there, and someone will help you out