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Thread: Going to see a counselor.

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    Default Going to see a counselor.

    Lately I've been lazy and not doing my homework (all my in-class work is perfect), and so I've been getting bad grades. Definitely not a good thing, I know.

    On top of that, I spend most of my time on the computer, because I enjoy playing Warcraft 3 with my friends, and helping out with what I can on other forums, and to a point, this one (hey, I don't use it much anymore D.

    The logical conclusion my mother draws from this?

    I have a problem. So I have an appointment with a counselor in like, an hour and a half, and I feel like shit because from what I know, they're nowhere near cheap, and we have almost no money to spare.

    Oh, also, she never asked me why I wasn't doing my work or why I spend so much time on the computer, she just assumed I have some sort of problem.

    Just wanted to rant about it somewhere, and I figured SRL would be the best place.

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    Why don't you just tell her this and cancel the councellor? Or perhaps you simply need one.



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    For me, my situation was like this:

    When I was in high school I'd have either really really high marks (like math, science, comp sci...etc), yet in classes like art and gym I'd be barely scraping by. Art I didn't care because I felt like I had to put so much work into something I didn't enjoy doing (should have taken music since I'm a musician), and in gym I don't like the insane hyper-masculinity. Bit too gay for me.
    So from my stuff, if I don't give a crap about it I let it slide and I don't care.

    Therefore maybe you can make that your reasoning? Tell them how school isn't fun for you when other things could be done that are more interesting.

    If you want to go the finger pointing route (this is quite fun TBH): Blame it on the teachers for sucking at their job [don't take down the good ones though]. Blame it on your school friends for the way they amplify societies apparent hatred for knowledge.


    As usual, ensure the person you're going to chat with that you're sane. Tell them "I don't know why Im here, I just feel no need to do homework when my in class grades are good, and I seem to be passing my courses. If not, I'll take care of that and pull my own pants up. Anything you'd like to say in closing?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wizzup? View Post
    Why don't you just tell her this and cancel the councellor? Or perhaps you simply need one.
    I've tried this before, it doesn't work. When she decides I need something, it happens whether I want it to or not.

    @cstrike: That's exactly why I don't do any of my homework. It's not interesting. Chemistry is, sort of (the learning part) but when you get an entire worksheet where you have to write 1s^2, 2s^2, 3p^6, etc. up to whatever, for an element like francium or some shit (yes, I know the shortcut, no, we're not allowed to use it), it's stupid and a waste of time.

    What's always confused me about gym is why people go around going 'omfg that guy is so gay!' because he (in one case at our school) waddles like a duck - perfect reasoning, I know - and then they go run around slapping each others asses if they make a basket or something.

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    If you used to get good grades and they have now tanked, I think she's justified in being concerned. I can't imagine that every single subject you've studied throughout the rest of your schooling was exciting and interesting to you.

    So, if you were getting good grades before and now you aren't, it suggests that some sort of addictive or self-destructive behavior is going on.

    The difference between a hobby and an addiction is that a hobby can be enjoyed without harming other parts of your life. And although games are fun and interesting, you aren't going to get someone to pay you to play games for the rest of your life. So, taking care of your education is a higher priority for you and for your mom.


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    Warcraft 3 is very addicting, depending on if you play Ladder or DoTA ( or any variation of a custom game); the game will take up a lot of time in your hands... I suggest you kinda make a priority list, because even though your lazy, the games become more of a priority to you then your work. Im sure you have felt horrible after playing 3 matches of DoTA in a row, or played 4 or more Ladder games, its very very time consuming.. So if you make a little list, or just say to yourself and stick to ("Only on weekends will I touch this stupid wc3 program") then you will be able to direct your energy into doing that work. Soon enough you'll find that Wc3 will be boring when you have work to do, and you'll be too lazy to even open up the program and start playing, youd rather do your work :P if that makes sense... lol

    Indeed Homework is very boring, it usually drains us out when we devote too much time into it, but you shouldn't use boring as an excuse to not do something. I know I sound really stupid when I say this, but you'll find doing homework will be more helpful to yourself rather then playing wc3, in fact after a while of doing work for a good amount of time, you'll find doing anything else but that work will be a waste of time. We all don't like doing things that benefit us in life D: but it still does not mean we should not do them.

    Good to note for those who haven't played Warcraft 3:
    -Games usually last from 30 - 60 minutes each, ladder or Dota or custom games alike.
    -Games are very competitive
    -Games are addicting.
    -Average player with no real-life friends playing with them: Plays about 3-5 games per session.
    -Average player with real-life friends playing with them: Plays about 6-8 games per session.

    The biggest flaw I see with this game is that its Lengthy. The long game matches and competitive players make this game almost like a sport. Its hard to say to yourself if you have a problem (I my self have a problem with this game too), because the matches last so long its almost hard to tell if your addicted or if your just playing a game that lasts long.
    Last edited by Heavenguard; 11-09-2010 at 10:37 PM.
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    Yea you're addicted to fun bro

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Claw View Post
    Yea you're addicted to fun bro
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    In all seriousness though, I don't do my homework because I don't personally see the point. I get the concept it's teaching after the first few problems, and then I say 'Ok I get it, why do I have to do more?' and drop it.

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    There is no reason to not be addicted to fun. I believe in finding something that you enjoy and are good at and making that something to strive and work for. I enjoy computers and love learning more about them. Yes, I do a little bit of programming and do my own computer repair; so I thought to myself it would be great to learn more about it. There is a difference between just not doing something (being lazy) and doing something that you find relaxing and enjoyable. I hope it goes well for you.

    On a personal thought, I can't stand really the 'going to a counselor' thing. Mostly because another human being has approximately an hour to sum the person they are counseling up. I just think that that is not good enough time to learn what is truly there in the person they are psycho-analyzing. Yet sometimes what they see in that amount of time is enough for them to say what one already knows and just needs to hear from another person.
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    Check it out, its worth a shot. I still see a councellor, been seeing one for... 5 years now, off and on.

    It really helps me.

    Some people have an incorrect stigma associated with seeing a councellor or anyone for psychological help, do not knock it till you know.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandstorm View Post
    In all seriousness though, I don't do my homework because I don't personally see the point. I get the concept it's teaching after the first few problems, and then I say 'Ok I get it, why do I have to do more?' and drop it.
    If you do this and succeed at your work, then they have not a leg to stand on when you do well on the examinations/tests.

    My personal trick is to try the hardest question, and if I can't do it then I work on that unit until I can. It hasn't failed me or my GPA yet
    B-)

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    I'm not knocking counselors, I know they can help people a lot, I just don't see why I personally need to see one, wasting my time and my mother's time and money :/.

    So anyway, we went for the first time today, and basically we talked about 'The Realm of Male' and 'The Realm of Female' and how I need a father figure (of which I have 2) in my life, because I'm growing up, as well as 'Thoughtfields'.

    @cstrike: The problem is, the homework that I -don't do- because I understand what it is is worth points.
    Last edited by Sandstorm; 11-10-2010 at 04:13 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cstrike View Post
    If you do this and succeed at your work, then they have not a leg to stand on when you do well on the examinations/tests.

    My personal trick is to try the hardest question, and if I can't do it then I work on that unit until I can. It hasn't failed me or my GPA yet
    B-)
    While its true that it may work for you, its definitely not as good as if he was to go home and actually complete all of the homework and review his material each day. The point of homework is to reinforce what you may / may not know, and while there may be a "Hardest Question" (which I have never seen something like that, a question that combines everything that could possibly had been reviewed into 1 or 3 problems), that hardest problem would not have been as good as the 5 or 10 individual problems for each category. Unless you fully comprehend the chapter to the point where you can snap your fingers and say it in your dreams, then theirs room in for study. We all can always chillax and kick back with friends or play a game or two. Its ideal to do that, but too much relaxation leads to laziness (which is what I know too well of D: ). With a good split between homework and then relaxation, you can really make your life a lot more easier / stress free / and intellectual.

    -Just a little note: Its definitely a HUGE plus if you get those harder problems, so CStrike has a huge thing with that. If your able to mentally derive things or think of them from start to finish, chances are you have a good base knowledge of the topic, but if you know both the little things by heart and a good picture of the hardest problems, then that would be a huge heap of goodness.

    Here, ill relate my learnings with SRL/SCAR with this. When I was very fresh to the community, and I just found out a little about scar and how coding and this and all that, I carried a notebook. Then, when I came home, I always would check out SRL, have SCAR open and be ready to code, it was a huge hobby. However their was only so much I could practice at home, only a couple of practice scripts that could be made, a question to the community here or there, it was a pretty small session each day; but when I went to school, that notebook that I carried was full of code in it. It had practicing and definitions about variables and constants, all the stuff that looked extremely hard when we all started. Long story short... I learned SCAR not only because of interest, but because of hard-work and extra effort. I'm sure most of us did this too. School is no different with this, we go to school, take a period for about 2 hours, and leave. Those 2 hours are only so much to give us ideas of something. We go home then, and do homework, or just look back at the things that were shown to us, and we get that click, that extra piece of knowledge that stays with you for a little longer. Its the same thing :X Hard work and extra effort. With those you can dominate anything.
    Last edited by Heavenguard; 11-10-2010 at 04:31 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heavenguard View Post
    While its true that it may work for you, its definitely not as good as if he was to go home and actually complete all of the homework and review his material each day. The point of homework is to reinforce what you may / may not know, and while there may be a "Hardest Question" (which I have never seen something like that, a question that combines everything that could possibly had been reviewed into 1 or 3 problems), that hardest problem would not have been as good as the 5 or 10 individual problems for each category. Unless you fully comprehend the chapter to the point where you can snap your fingers and say it in your dreams, then theirs room in for study. We all can always chillax and kick back with friends or play a game or two. Its ideal to do that, but too much relaxation leads to laziness (which is what I know too well of D: ). With a good split between homework and then relaxation, you can really make your life a lot more easier / stress free / and intellectual.

    -Just a little note: Its definitely a HUGE plus if you get those harder problems, so CStrike has a huge thing with that. If your able to mentally derive things or think of them from start to finish, chances are you have a good base knowledge of the topic, but if you know both the little things by heart and a good picture of the hardest problems, then that would be a huge heap of goodness.
    This I agree with, and I also think that it may not work for some people. It tends to work for me, but it's only for high school and first/second year. Once third year comes around, if you haven't developed those good study habits [as mentioned above] you are literally screwed xD

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    I see counselors some times. But then again, I'm cuhrazayyyy and a bad person and stuff, amirite?

    I'd say most people don't like me, and that's fine. I'd say I'm mostly not wanted here, and that's fine. I try to not upset anyone and all, I just wanna help.

    But the point is, counselling directly hasn't helped me. I've never had any sort of epiphany or anything of the sort in an office talking to a random lady. What helps me is just that I actually have time to think and process my thoughts before and after, which is important. To each his own, for sure, but I know that just having some time to think is amazingly important to me. It may help you to think and have someone to talk to (which is mostly what counselling is.. you can talk the whole time for all they care).

    I'd always go out of my way to listen to what you have to say, broman. Honestly. I love listening and helping people. I've actually wanted to be a counselor for awhile. Still thinking about it, and most likely will do something about it in college and put off computer work (what I'd love to do) for my own time; helping people is something I really enjoy. So really if you need to talk to just a friend or something, I know it's kinda different, but I could buy a mic or something if you want and we could talk.

    Life is amazing, man. It really is. Don't take it for granted that you get to live.

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    If you think a visit to a counselor is expensive, Google "internet rehab". Very few, always inpatient. The counselor is just someone to talk to... about whatever. Answer a few questions. Feel free to ask a bunch of your own. Maybe you might learn something! Either why your grades are slipping -- the REAL reason -- or just how to communicate better with your mother to avoid this b******* in the future.
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    I actually did a report for class and video game addiction and a actual video. if you want the paper work let me know. Here is the link to my video

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSjSzWVVNEg

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    What year are you? From year 8-10 I didn't really do much at all, nearly dropped out in fact lol. For the same reasons as you pretty much. Parents were getting pretty worried...but then year 11 and 12 I put in effort and got into the best uni available. In my opinion, if you personally think you can handle slacking off for a bit theres no problem, just put in the effort when its needed.

    It would also help to explain things the way you see them to your parents, because they're right to be worried (and at least it shows they care, right). And don't mouth off or anything to the councellor, probably say something like you're not feeling challenged enough. You wouldn't want to be sent to the doctor and prescribed anything you don't need and be forced to take it, the drugs they give you are evil if you don't need them.
    Last edited by The Claw; 11-10-2010 at 08:50 AM.

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    I just did the route where you take difficult classes. I take harder, advanced classes, and the teachers, at my school at least, are like..."wow these kids are advanced and getting good grades, so they must be doing their homework!" or they dont care. Either way, none of my classes actually check homework. There generally isn't more work either, though i suppose it's technically harder, doesn't bother me.

    However, if i were you, I would do my homework quickly. Having a counselor is probably a larger waste of time, and it will probably be just as uninteresting. Most things can be speeded up through the computer. Print out a sheet with the electron configuration. Bam! 45 seconds rather than whatever it would have taken you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Cardin View Post
    I just did the route where you take difficult classes. I take harder, advanced classes, and the teachers, at my school at least, are like..."wow these kids are advanced and getting good grades, so they must be doing their homework!" or they dont care. Either way, none of my classes actually check homework. There generally isn't more work either, though i suppose it's technically harder, doesn't bother me.

    However, if i were you, I would do my homework quickly. Having a counselor is probably a larger waste of time, and it will probably be just as uninteresting. Most things can be speeded up through the computer. Print out a sheet with the electron configuration. Bam! 45 seconds rather than whatever it would have taken you.
    To the first: I'm in all Honors classes, as high as I can get (I started a year 'late' - I moved here and had to take the grade 8 classes in 9), and they all still check homework religiously. I'm in grade 11 right now.

    To the second: I see the logic, but that's not always why we do things, is it? :P.

    Also, we're given a worksheet and we have to finish it. T.T

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    Well that is not how any of my current teachers do business. some of the previous ones might have been more strict. I feel bad for you about that.

    Why you do things? What? The point is to get it done. If you know you can do it, then the extra work can generally be done more easily through the computer. The only thing stopping me would be teacher complaints about not being able to use the computer, which i can see them doing, but completely disagree with.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Cardin View Post
    Well that is not how any of my current teachers do business. some of the previous ones might have been more strict. I feel bad for you about that.

    Why you do things? What? The point is to get it done. If you know you can do it, then the extra work can generally be done more easily through the computer. The only thing stopping me would be teacher complaints about not being able to use the computer, which i can see them doing, but completely disagree with.
    I mean logic isn't the reason we do things all the time :P.

    Because a friend wanted me to:



    ^ Totally unrelated to anything, but my friend insisted.

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