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Thread: Compare Contrast essay.

  1. #1
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    Default Compare Contrast essay.

    My topic is homeschooled vs. public schooled children

    Tell me what you think


    http://pastie.org/2773795

  2. #2
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    Your essay seems a little unfocused. Although you are comparing and contrasting different features of both schooling systems, you are doing little to analyze the different features. This is resulting in your essay sounding like a list. For example, in your third paragraph you cover something like five or six differences between public schooling and homeschooling, but you don't really analyze why those differences are important.

    In a compare and contrast essay, the writer should focus on explaining how key differences or similarities create a dramatic effect. By listing such an immense multitude of differences, you have trapped yourself into either writing an extremely long paper or writing a list. Considering that you seem to be trying to write a concise five paragraph essay, I suggest that you remove some of the differences, and focus your paragraphs on key differences or similarities. Try to nearly exhaust one idea before moving onto another, but make sure you don't become redundant.

    I also noticed that your sentences don't seem to flow together very well. Your paper would read a lot smoother if you tried to vary your sentence structure and vocabulary.

    Your concluding sentence could use some work. It really doesn't expand on the topic very much; it seems to summarize more than anything, but I like where you are going with it. You mentioned in that sentence that the parent should decide how their child is schooled based on which type of school they believe will allow their child to excel. This is a really good insight that adds depth to your essay. If you expand on this idea, your conclusion will be a lot more enlightening.

    Consider rereading your essay to find grammatical errors too.

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