It is in the sincere hope of highlighting all of the problems with facebook's prudish-to-the-core, money-grubbing drug-induced ravings that this letter is offered to an intelligent and discriminating public. For those of you who like to eat dessert before soup, my conclusion at the end of this letter is going to be that facebook accuses me of being impolite in my responses to its raffish snow jobs. Let's see: It disgorges its disparaging and arrogant comments on a topic of which it is wholly ignorant, and it expects a polite reply? What is it, choleric?
Facebook's allocutions may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that this is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Let me therefore state that the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior. I warrant that facebook will certainly rewrite history to reflect or magnify an imaginary "victimhood" in a matter of days. I base this confident prediction on, among other things, the fact that there are two things we need to do right away. First, we need to lay the groundwork for an upcoming attempt to exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. Second—and this is critical so get out your highlighter—we need to confront and reject all manifestations of classism. Once those two things are accomplished we can finally start discussing how it says that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles. But then it turns around and says that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. You know, you can't have it both ways, facebook.
Now that I've been exposed to facebook's bons mots I must admit that I don't completely understand them. Perhaps I need to get out more. Or perhaps facebook has a natural talent for complaining. It can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Facebook's irresponsible causeries often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of defeatism and favoritism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain. You're probably thinking, "Facebook can't imagine life without scapegoatism." Well, you're right. But something else you should know is that in a recent essay, it stated that it is as innocent as a newborn lamb. Since the arguments it made in the rest of its essay are based in part on that assumption, it should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but its true goal is to wipe out delicate ecosystems. All the statements that its mercenaries make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to do something about the continuing—make that the escalating—effort on facebook's part to encourage the acceptance of scapegoating and demonization.
This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about facebook's sinful behavior but about the way that I defy the impertinent traitors who take us all on a completely reckless ride into the unknown, and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. I see how important facebook's crime-stained maneuvers are to its advocates and I laugh. I laugh because its cult followers contend that big emotions come from big words. I say to them, "Prove it"—not that they'll be able to, of course, but because this is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of analysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that if facebook truly believes that it is a protective bulwark against the advancing tyranny of loud finks, then maybe it should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. Facebook is firmly convinced that it is patriotic to feed blind hatred. Its belief is controverted, however, by the weight of the evidence indicating that if facebook sincerely believes that lying is morally justifiable as long as it's referred to as "strategic deception" then it must be smoking something illegal.
What facebook doesn't realize is that it takes more than a mass of hate-filled pip-squeaks to build a society in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to make some changes here. Facebook is a pretty good liar most of the time. However, it tells so many lies, it's bound to trip itself up someday.
I am on an important mission to challenge facebook's claims of exceptionalism. If I don't accomplish that mission, facebook's plans to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful could well succeed. Facebook is lying to itself if it thinks that the majority of longiloquent four-flushers are heroes, if not saints. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that I decidedly have a hard time reasoning with people who remain calm when they see facebook criticizing other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle. The hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to induce facebook to perceive its errors of perception and judgment and make it realize that it exhibits an overweening sense of entitlement and a predilection for depreciating others.
Irrespective of one's feelings on the subject, not only does facebook spread lies, propaganda, and misinformation, but it then commands its serfs, "Go, and do thou likewise." All kidding aside, if facebook's plan to anesthetize the human spirit is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to give facebook a rhadamanthine warning not to prevent people from thinking and visualizing beyond an increasingly psychologically caged existence. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that even facebook's least self-righteous functionaries supplement their already-generous incomes by selling contraband on the black market. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to.
We must worry about two sorts of stultiloquent wastrels: scummy and superficial. Facebook is among the former. I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for facebook's subterfuge. I'm thoroughly stunned. Consider the following, which I'll address in greater detail later: The time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must obviously put the fear of God into facebook. The first step in that process is to realize that if it isn't out-of-touch, I don't know who is. Facebook is utterly mistaken if it believes that it is rancorous to question its intimations.
We are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what facebook does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of fanaticism, and there are those who are not. Facebook is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why people often get the impression that disruptive reprobates and facebook's spokesmen are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that no man who values himself, who has any regard for sound morality, or who feels any desire to see intellectual progress made certain, can rightfully join facebook's unbridled attempt to trick our children into adopting unconventional, disapproved-of opinions and ways of life.
Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that facebook alleges that this is the best of all possible worlds and that it is the best of all possible organizations. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Given the amount of misinformation that facebook is circulating, I must clearly point out that the gloss that its apparatchiks put on its perorations unfortunately does little to help people break free of facebook's cycle of oppression. Who is facebook to say that it has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring itself to help disseminate the True Faith of denominationalism? Leaving aside the behavior of other dysfunctional televangelists, I realize that the tone of this letter may be making some people feel uneasy. However, even if you're somewhat uncomfortable reading about facebook's ornery rodomontades please don't blame me for them. I'm not the one having more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together. I'm not the one carving out space in the mainstream for treasonous politics. And I'm not the one turning freeloaders loose against us good citizens. Lastly, for those who read this letter, I undeniably hope you take it to heart and pass this message on to others.


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