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Thread: How should I handle this?

  1. #1
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    Default How should I handle this?

    Earlier tonight I was in bed with my girlfriend talking and she mentioned how a girl she used to be best friends with is in some trouble. I went to gradeschool with the girl that is in trouble and she used to be the best friend of my girlfriend so it's a small world after all. Anyway enough of my late night ramblings and back to the point of my post. This girl is 18, has a kid, and is living with the kid's dad, a guy that is no good judging from what my girlfriend has told me. According to her he hits his baby's momma, has beaten up her little brother, and has stolen from his baby's momma's mom.

    Now my initial reaction to this was to say that somebody needs to kick that guy's ass. After my girlfriend and I had a thoroughly enjoyable night I came home and aimlessly messed around on the internet for a bit since sleep did not come readily to me. During my aimless time wasting the words, "somebody needs to kick that guy's ass," reverberated through my mind until I got to thinking about how one of the biggest problems with the world is that nobody takes responsibility for their lack of action. Most people are always saying somebody should do something about such and such or put a stop to so and so but they never make any effort to do it themselves. My saying that somebody should kick his ass was just my passing the buck off to a nameless, faceless person that would no doubt do the same thing I did.

    So now that I have come to the conclusion that I must act it somewhat changes the course of action that I had originally thought would be best. I can't very well kick the crap out of him or at least can't do so right away for a variety of reasons. I'm about as far removed from the situation as I can be but now that I know about it I'm morally obligated to intervene in some way to ensure that this girl isn't getting beaten anymore.

    Do you guys have any suggestions for how I should deal with the situation? I know I could always call the cops but they're pretty damn worthless in my town. For instance a while back when my dad got robbed they didn't dust his kitchen counter for prints because they said it was too smooth. The dumb sons of bitches apparently were never trained at all because the smoother the surface the better the prints you'll be able to pick up off of it.

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    I really don't think violence is the answer. Fighting conflict with conflict just creates more conflicts, and doesnt improve the situation one bit.

    I do however agree that just talking and not taking action is a major problem. Lots of people talk a lot and don't do anything. Kicking the guys ass is not gonna help it, it might result in someone going to jail and the kid growing up without a father.

    Why not just alert the social services? If they don't do anything, you can still hire a streetgang to do the dirty work, or DIY. However, going that way can get you into the emergency room and could also result in you getting arrested for physical assault. Theres really no simple solution.

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    Theres really no simple solution.
    Yeah I figured as much. Really the whole assault thing would make me feel great but it's just not a good option when looking at the situation realistically. I'm going to end up talking with my girlfriend about this some more once I get the opportunity and I'll probably end up asking my dad what he thinks because its more than likely he's found himself in a similar situation. It's finals week for her so she's pretty busy for the time being. Sometimes I can be pretty juvenile and naive for a guy that's almost 19 but fortunately it passes quickly most of the time.

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    Its not good that police and other social services arent working so well as here in finland.. this is maybe worlds safest country..

    hope you can manage to help out her!
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    firstly its not really ur business from my point of view secondly if u want to do something just get ur wits and first talk to him in the nice way and if the dumbass doesn't get it kick his bloody ass! and the girl should figure it out herself

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    its not really ur business from my point of view
    Well Hitler's extermination of the Jews in Europe wasn't any of the United States or Great Britain's business either but I don't see you complaining about their intervening in that matter. If something wrong like this is going on and you know about it but don't even try to do anything about it then you're just as wrong as the guy that's doing it. You know that whole ,"when good men do nothing that is evil enough," thing.

    Other than that though you and I are in agreement for the most part hugolord. I figure I'm going to ask my girlfriend about it the next time I get the opportunity to talk to her and once she tells me a bit more about the situation I'll end up talking to the guy. After I talk with him and his girlfriend I'll decide what I'm going to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by radioactive_werewolf View Post
    I'll end up talking to the guy. After I talk with him and his girlfriend I'll decide what I'm going to do.
    Lol!! I can tell you right now, that is not going to go well. You are not going to have a nice chat with him about how he abuses his girlfriend. Do not expect him to suddenly have an epiphany, give you cookies and milk and thank you for setting him on the right path.

    Just tell the proper authorities. If they decide not to do anything, you can always talk to the district attorney and try to get an internal affairs type thing going on.


    btw, genocide is different from domestic assault, so don't go there.

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    Well Hitler's extermination of the Jews in Europe wasn't any of the United States or Great Britain's business either but I don't see you complaining about their intervening in that matter. If something wrong like this is going on and you know about it but don't even try to do anything about it then you're just as wrong as the guy that's doing it. You know that whole ,"when good men do nothing that is evil enough," thing.
    Same with Rwanda. When the world was watching videos of mothers and children being hacked to death with scimitars, they just said, "Ooo! Thats horrible!" then continued eating their popcorn and totally forgetting about it 1 minute later. But due to inaction of these people/government more people in Rwanda just kept getting killed.

    But that also brings up the point of Kuwait. Iraq was invading Kuwait, so the U.S immediately springs to action to save Kuwait. Know why? Cause they got oil...and Rwanda don't.

    btw, genocide is different from domestic assault, so don't go there.
    They're similar, but one is just "blown up". For genocide if you don't help out what happens? People die. For domestic assault if you don't help out what happens? Someone gets hurt. They're both harming others, but one is just more serious then the other.

    Back on topic.

    I agree with omgh4x0rz. If you go up to him, and say, "Yo, stop abusing your girlfriend". You're gonna get hurt. I suggest calling him up and threatening to call social services or the police if it continues. (Don't tell him where you got this info...) He can't hurt you with the phone, and 911 is three buttons away.

    I still say that a small-claims family court is the way too go. Restraining orders are also nice...


    -Dunceiam

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    btw, genocide is different from domestic assault, so don't go there.
    Yes they are extremely different but they both are allowed to occur due to the inaction of people that know about it. I needed a big example to show how important it is that people step up and take action when people are getting hurt even if it isn't any of their business.

    If you go up to him, and say, "Yo, stop abusing your girlfriend". You're gonna get hurt.
    Yup you're obviously right but that wasn't quite what I was going to do. I was going to talk to him to get a general impression of him. To try and verify what my girlfriend told me. I'll call social services once I talk with my girlfriend about it again because I have no idea where they live or what the dude's name is.

    Thank you for all of your input. I could have conceivably done something very stupid without it.

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    Get a mask, rape him, and flee as fast as black man after raping white woman.
    When I die will they remember not what i've done but what I haven't done?
    It's not the end that i fear with each breath,
    it's life that scares me to death
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    don't be racist...LOL

    erm, i would call the police or get the baby taken away.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxine View Post
    Its not good that police and other social services arent working so well as here in finland.. this is maybe worlds safest country..
    Yes finland is pretty safe country!

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